Ridin' Toonz
by zackman1996
Summary: In 1981, Someone came across a package. They died mysteriously 3 days later. In 1999, Someone bought a Lamborghini Diablo. The car exploded less than 5 minutes of being off the lot. In 2005, Someone bought a PS2 and NFS: Carbon. They were killed by flying glass and plastic shards. In 2010, The parents of a kid went on a plane. The plane was never seen again.
1. Unofficial Intro

Cast:

Zackman1996: 8-Ball/zdude182/Z/Zack/Owner of Z-Man's DUB shop/Zack Halladay

Yakko: Himself/siryaksalot199quad/Author of "Me and my siblings outside of Animaniacs"

Wakko: Himself/crazeeguy000

Dot: Herself/killastunnaSLRMcLaren/Owner of "Dot's Exotics"

Sonic: Himself/Speedee1/Owner of Sonic's speed shop.

Shadow: Himself/DarknessLamboMercy

Tails: Himself/the Genius behind /Milesthemoderator/thacreatah/Owner and Founder of MyChat

Knuckles: Himself/Fistinyoface

Yin: Herself/Pinkwithcuteness

Yang: Himself/Weaps11/Owner of "Yang's Shooting Shop"

Yuck: Himself/punisher1997/Owner of the North Philly Junkyard

Felix: Himself/catzrule88/owner of the Philly City Quad Drive-In

Inky: Himself/theinkman/ticket booth guy

Winky: Himself/wink82/singing snack bar attendant

Bugs Bunny: Himself/bugsy1949packard

Ace Bunny: Himself/acesuppokerhand

Gumball: Himself/gumshoeinc

Stitch: Himself/coffeeandcoke2004

Mickey Mouse: Himself/King Mickey/Mick23

Freddie: Himself/WTFRUDOIN99

Morty: Himself/OMGWTFISURPROBLEM11

Quentin Tarantino: Bartender at Club Rage (Cameo)

Ciara: Pole Dancer at The Slick Kitty Strip Club (Cameo)

Flo Rida: The bartender at Jimmy's Bar (Cameo)

Will Smith: That guy with the '81 'Benz 4matic on James Avenue

Mike Tyson: "Nutty" Hollerson/the guy in solitary at the Prison

Alan Alda: James Halladay/Grampa

Betty White: Helen Halladay/Gramma

Antonio Banderas: The clerk at Kohl's

Danny Trejo: "Driver"

Vin Diesel: "Bodyguard"

John Cena: "Muscles" McGee

Steve Buscemi: "Mercedes" Benz/"SLR" McLaren/"SLS" Gull/"S-Class4" Matic/"CLK500" Lingui/"Gullwing" Oldman

Frank Stallone: "Rolls" Royce/"57" Maybach/"Azure" Bentley

Keanu Reeves: "Lamborghini" Mercey/"Ferrari" Enzoh/"Bugatti" Veyhorn/"CCX" Koenig/"DMC-12" DeLoran/"Porsche" Careyra

John Cryer: "Volvo" Cross/"BMW" Beamer/"Jaguar" Smit

Charlie Sheen: " Rover" Landers

Jason Statham: Bill "Cars" Luxey

Vehicles:

2005 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren

2012 Mercedes-Benz SLS Gullwing

1981 Delorean DMC-12 DUB edition (Gold ADR Empire rims, black paint, green neon, Dub Badge)

2012 Chevrolet Camaro Transformers Edition

2005 Lamborghini Muercilago (Both hardtop and roadster)

2009 Lamborghini Gallardo

2012 Lamborghini Aventador J

2013 Bugatti Galiber 16C concept

2013 Ford Fusion

2006 Aston Martin DBS

2005 Aston Martin DB9

2012 Aston Martin Rapide

2012 Porsche Panamera

2011 Rolls Royce Phantom

2011 Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe

1969 Aston Martin DBS

1965 Aston Martin DB5

1981 Ferrari Testarossa

2012 Ferrari California

2009 Ferrari Enzo FXX

2011 Ford Focus NASCAR Subway

2010 Audi INDYCAR Apple

2011 Bentley Continental GT

1989 Rolls Royce Corniche

2001 Chevrolet Caprice

1975 Cadillac El Dorado

2008 Lamborghini Reventon

2012 Bugatti Veyron GranSport

2007 Koenigsegg CCX

2005 Porsche Carrera GT

2005 Ford GT

2011 Shelby GT500SKR

2012 Corvette C6

1974 Chevrolet El Camino

1964 Pontiac GTO

1972 Pontiac Catalina

1969 Dodge Challenger R/T

2012 Ford Mustang GT

2013 Ford Mustang BOSS 302

2007 Toyota Camry LE

2008 Toyota FJ Cruiser

1958 Ford Thunderbird 4-Speed

2012 Harley-Davidson Road King

2012 Kawasaki Ninja 500

2011 Ducati 9101

2005 Cadillac CTS

2012 Cadillac Escalade

2005 Chevrolet Avalanche

1996 Dodge Ram 3500

2013 Dodge Dart

Schwinn model 12 Modified Chopper Bike (Black Paint, Gold trim, Gold ADR Empire modified Rims)

Boeing 787 Dreamliner

Airbus A380 Singapore Airlines

Boeing 747 JetBlue

Amtrak Acela

1970 Chevrolet Nova SS

1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS

1969 Ford Mustang

1970 Oldsmobile 442

1971 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser

2007 Maybach 57

2005 BMW M3 GTR

2012 Jaguar XK

2009 Volvo XC90

Guns:

Walther WA2000

Walther PPK

Walther P99

Glock 18

Glock 17

Colt 1911

M16

M1 Garand

M3

MP5

MP40

AK47

TEC-9

SKORPION

M4

AA12

1887 Shotgun

RPG-7

Desert Eagle .50

Beretta M92FS

Beretta Inox

.44 Magnum

S&W .357

.100 Magnum

Bolt Rifle

Blooper Grenade Launcher

MGL

Snub Nose .38

H&K UMP .45

H&K MP5K

Micro UZI

UZI

1929 Thompson

Sawed Off Double Barrel Shotgun

.22 Cal rifle

.50 Cal machine gun

M249 SAW

GE 1134 Minigun

SCAR-L

PP-19

AUG

OC-14

Blades:

Katanas

Black and Decker Chainsaw

Skil Cordless Power Drill

Craftsman Screwdriver

Switchblade

Swiss Army Knife

Pocket Knife

Hunting Knife

Chef Knife

Meat Cleaver

Dagger

Paring Knives

Deboner Knife

Phones:

Apple iPhone 4S

Motorola DROID RAZR MAXX

Motorola DROID BIONIC

Blackberry Storm

Motorola Q 1st gen

Nokia 6600 1st gen

Motorola MOTO VU204

LG Accolade

LG EnV

LG EnV2

LG EnV touch

Computers:

HP Envy 14 Beats

HP Touchsmart

HP Elitebook

Panasonic Toughbook

IBM Lenovo ThinkPad

Toshiba Satellite

Watches:

Ice King

Charles Raymond

Rolex

Casio

Timex

Swatch

Soundtrack:

Goodies Feat Petey Pablo by Ciara

Felix the Cat by Les Dudek

Hangover Feat Flo Rida by Taio Cruz

Milkshake by Kelis

Upgrade U feat Jay-Z by Beyoncé

Gotta be there by

Mile in these Shoes by

Hanh! By Ying Yang twins

Highway to Hell by AC/DC

Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks, and Cannibal girls by White Zombie

Synopsis:

From Director Quentin Tarantino, Producer Steven Spielberg, Writer Zack Halladay, and some of the biggest stars ever comes a new Grindhouse feature.

In 1981, Someone came across a package. They died mysteriously 3 days later. In 1999, Someone bought a Lamborghini Diablo. The car exploded less than 5 minutes of being off the lot. In 2005, Someone bought a PS2 and NFS: Carbon. They were killed by flying glass and plastic shards. In 2010, The parents of a kid went on a plane. The plane was never seen again. In 2012, That kid, who ran a Custom car and bike shop, got together some friends and went looking for answers. What they got was a deadly contract on their heads and a hot set of wheels. With a mix of classic rock, road trip music, hot new rap tracks, insane rides, badass weapons, and all around classic 70s grindhouse horror, "Ridin' Toonz" is the greatest flick since Death Proof and Machete. Strap in. The ride is about to start.

I own nothing except Zack Halladay.

I know this is kinda long, but I thought it would be better to toss this in first.


	2. Official C5 LateNite intro

You're watching C5's Late-Nite Nightmare with The Z-Man

It started out as a normal day-Nah I'm just kiddin'. Hey Wassup this is the Z-Man workin' your late-nite nightmare on Channel 1102 "C5 Adult Channel" Tonight we got that new flick you ALL probably saw in theaters or at the drive-in. The latest Grindhouse offering from Quentin Tarantino, with the greatest rides, best weapons, and cheesiest horror, sorry Q.T., a new Grindhouse hit. RIDIN' TOONZ! This movie is rated X and should not be viewed by persons under 18. This movie has the following content: Extreme violence and gore, language, nudity, drug use, alcohol use, provocative humor, suggestive humor, and disturbing images.

This Movie Has Been Modified To Fit You Screen.

From Death by Film Movies and Rogue Pictures

Zack Halladay

Yakko Warner

Sonic the Hedgehog

Miles Prower

Mickey Mouse

Jason Statham

Felix the Cat

Ridin' TOONZ

Directed by Quentin Tarantino

Produced by Steven Spielberg

Written by Zack Halladay and Yakko Warner

With Music by Mark Morrison

Ciara

Taio Cruz

Flo Rida

2 Chainz

Kanye West

White Zombie

Andrew W.K.

Tenacious D

Nicki Minaj

David Guetta

Michael Jackson

Black Eyed Peas

Tony Toni Tone!

Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam

Jackson 5

Bruce Springsteen

Deep Purple

Talking Heads

Lucy Pearl

Will Smith

Kelis

Rascal Flatts

Dread Zeppelin

Felix and the BuzzCatz

The Beach Boys

And Jennifer Lopez

Casting by SonicandShadowfan15

"DUB" Delorean provided by Writerman374

"Dot's Exotics" inventory provided by SonicSuzy

WA2000 rifle provided by hev12

"Screw off Assbang" copyright Zack Halladay

Copyright 2012 SonicandShadowfan15, Quentin Tarantino, Zack Halladay, and

If you have ANY major requests, email me at zackman1996 IF you send me a virus I will kill you.


	3. Chat log incident

Police report:

What follows in an actual transcript from the archives of the old MyChat center in Apartment 2C of the Rose Garden Apartments in Burbank, CA across the street from the Warner Bros. Studio, found in a cut away hole in the wall of the backroom where, when the apartment was broken into by SWAT, only a few loose surge protectors and an old G1 iPod classic were found besides the furniture owned by one Miles Prower. After the apartment had been searched over and over for nearly a decade, the new tenants, the Brown Family, namely the patriarch Kevin, found a small crack in the wall of the back room where the office was. Inside, police found ZIP disks, floppy disks, computers, flash drives, portable hard drives, and other computer paraphernalia along with an illegal 9MM automatic TEC-9 handgun. After the police cracked the passcodes on all the data storage devices, several hundred thousand gigabytes, several thousand hours, and several hundred dollars' worth of chat logs and profile data were found. None of the chat logs or profiles stuck out except for the one shown below between several cartoons and other creatures PLUS a kid who turned up dead from a single gunshot to the head, murdered by someone still unknown and wanted 12 years after this chat log was initially recorded.

MyChat chat room 912BV03E

Recorded 6/24/12 8:17 PM to 6/25/12 4:30 AM.

MyChat Login:

Username: zdude182

Password: *******

Chat room: General conversation 3

Enter?

Entering…

killastunnaSLRMcLaren: Shut up siryaksalot! =(

siryaksalot199quad: Well at least I didn't get shot by the same douche TWICE in 1 game of Zombie Death 2!

crazeeguy000: I, for one, think that Zombie Death 2 is completely fucking retarded. I prefer driving my DUB SLS on Saints Row 3 =3

DarknessLamboMercy: What happened to the Bugatti Veyron?

crazeeguy000: Got blown up by some assfuck with a Glock 18 -.- Jeez do u EVER watch my vlog?

zdude182: Hey guyz wassup?

killastunnaSLRMcLaren: Well, aside from the fact that siryaksalot is a complete asshole who can't ever seem to shuthafukup, nothin'. U?

zdude182: Just bought a brand new set of Beats By Dr. Dre Pros for $500 at best buy =D

speedee1 is entering….

speedee1: WAZZZZZUUUUUUP?/

zdude182: STOP YELLING!

speedee1: No u X3

zdude182: Screw off Assbang X(

speedee1: wateva

speedee1 has left the chat room…..

crazeeguy000: Finally Asshat McGee left ^.^

zdude182: IKR What an asstard

milesthemoderator has entered…..

zdude182: oh shit O_o;

milesthemoderator: speedee1 just told me you forced him to leave.

killastunnaSLRMcLaren: He was yelling random-ass shit and zdude just said "Screw off Assbang X(" and he said wateva and left. We never forced him to do anything assbrain

milesthemoderator: k wateva

milesthemoderator has left the chat room…..

theinkman has entered…..

theinkman: Sup peeps?

crazeeguy000: Listen kid, we all know ur only 9 years old. so fuck off and go play XD

wink82 has entered…  
wink82: STOP HASSLIN' MY BROTHER DUMBSHITS!

zdude182: wow….as if I DIDN'T see this coming….BEWBS!..-3-

siryaksalot199quad: HEY THAT'S MY LINE! =(

killastunnaSLRMcLaren: shut up =D

catzrule88 has entered…..

catzrule88: Have Inky and Winky been bothering you guys again?

DarknessLamboMercy: Yup

catzrule88: -.-

zdude182: Hey I can hear my upstairs neighbor yelling at two shitbrains who can't even work a mouse.

theinkman has left the chat room…

catzrule88: Winky?

wink82 has left the chat room….

zdude182: Well the yelling stopped from the asshole in 2B XD

catzrule88: WHO U CALLIN AN ASSHOLE?

zdude182: HOLY SHIT U LIVE IN 2B?

catzrule88: oh fuck O_o;;;;;

zdude182: BRB IMMA GO BE AN ANNOYING ASSTARD =3

catzrule88: JHOFWDHJLF'/ujipjhuolgnfdXiadkjEPIUJQK…

zdude182: O_O;;;;;;

catzrule88: asshole…..didn't even let me get a towel -.-

killastunnaSLRMcLaren: so THAT'S what that yelling across the street from the WB studio lot wa—OPHG FUDF-O FUCK O_o;;;;

siryaksalot199quad: thanks a lot Dottie =D

crazeeguy000: Uh oh O_o;;;; fight in the Warner home

killastunnaSLRMcLaren: Shut up Wakko

siryaksalot199quad: Great goin' Dot AND Wakko

catzrule88: well the jig is up for ALL of us I guess -.-

zdude182: well I'll start…..I'm Zack Halladay and I run Z-Man's DUB shop on the corner of Jack Street and Moran Blvd AND I live 1 apartment under Felix The Cat AKA The Nudist =3

catzrule88: Wateva cockass…I'm Felix the Cat, I run the Philly City Quad Drive-In in scenic Burbank California.

siryaksalot199quad: I think I speak for the three of us. killastunnaSLRMcLaren is my Sister Dot and the owner of Dot's Exotics and crazeeguy000 is none other than Wakko. And I'm Yakko, author of Me and My Siblings outside of Animaniacs. AND we're royalty in Warnerstock.

zdude182: Yeah and I'm a sex slave to a fucking horse with erectile dysfunction.

DarknessLamboMercy: LOL I remember that XD

zdude182: IT WAS ONE TIME WHEN I WAS TAKING A SHIT IN A BARN AND MY BACK WAS TO THAT HORSE AND IT'S DAMN BONER! I COULDN'T SHIT FOR WEEKS THANKS TO YOU!

DarknessLamboMercy: You still haven't collected your $1

crazeeguy000: You did that for a buck?

zdude182: U kidding I'd kill Yakko for a Klondike bar and a diet coke =3

killastunnaSLRMcLaren: What bout meh?

zdude182: I'd kill you for a bag of 2Pac's barf LOLZ

crazeeguy000:me?

zdude182: I wouldn't kill you I'd chop off that horse's permanent boner and superglue it inside Ur anus X3 LOL horsecock dildo rape =D

thacreatah has entered….

thacreatah: Ok break it up. It's 3AM and I'm getting complaint calls from my neighbor Felix saying some punk keeps saying what he'd kill the warner trio for. A Klondike bar, a diet cola, a bag of barf from a long-dead rapper, and then sticking a dildo made from a horse boner in the middle one's ASS? LOL U pervert.

thacreatah has left the chat room…..

zdude182: hey Felix

catzrule88: yah?

zdude182: who IS thacreatah and is he living with the gay guy milesthemoderator?

catzrule88: they're the same guy, an 11-year-old two-tailed fox running an HP Envy Beats in one hand, an HP Touchsmart in the other. AND he had various Mac and Apple parts lying around. Kid's a geek I tell ya.

DarknessLamboMercy: That would be tails

DarknessLamboMercy has logged off…

killastunnaSLRMcLaren: Night!

killastunnaSLRMcLaren has logged off….

catzrule88: Time for work! INKY! WINKY!

catzrule88 has logged off….

siryaksalot199quad has logged off….

crazeeguy000 has logged off…

zdude182: well I'm off.

zdude182 has logged off…

End Chat log…


	4. Insanity

You can go to Burbank and see the studios. But the things that wouldn't strike you as historical are sitting right across the street from those studios. The fabled Philly City Quad Drive-in is still running, but as the Burbank Quad. No one would notice the old Philly City Signage beneath screen 1 unless they really looked for it. The old Minimart still stands empty and ownerless after the attack, the New Coke Ads, flat soda, stale chips, and melted candy bars still inside. The old dealership that was Dot's Exotics is now an art museum. The fabled Rose Gardens Apartment building was knocked down two weeks before these exclusive pages of testimony, data collection, and evidence documentary were leaked by wikileaks and shipped to me, the unknown person behind your screen. Now this looks like a movie-style idea, but what is about to follow is an extensive report of Murder, Betrayal, Sadness, Prison stays, and Pure Madness. This is all 100% true, unedited, uncensored, uncut, and unbiased accounts of what happened in the three week period between 6/25/12 and 7/9/12.


	5. Page 1 of the official files

News caster: After years and years of searching, the murderer of a 16-year-old kid was caught yesterday. Joseph "Crazy Joe" Jameson was arrested last night at his apartment in the rose gardens building. Apparently the apartment he lived in, 2B, was owned by Felix T. Cat during the period in question.

DA John Hilderman: Now Mr. Warner what can you tell us about the night of June 25th, 2012?

Yakko: Well we were all chatting. Me, Felix, Dot, Wakko, Shadow, and Zack. We were all cussing and talking smack. Zack ran in on Felix before Felix could get a towel. Then, we logged off after about another 2 hours.

DA Hilderman: What chat room was it?

Yakko: General Conversation 3.

DA Hilderman: Well, what can you tell us about the conversation that went on?

Yakko: Dot and I were yelling at each other over me making fun of her for getting shot twice in the same place by the same assbrain on Zombie Death 2 when Zack came in and said "Hey guys wassup?"

DA Hilderman: Thank you Mr. Warner, you may step down. I now call my next witness to the stand, Sonic the hedgehog. Now Mr. Hedgehog, what do you remember about the night in question?

Sonic: Well, I came on, being all obnoxious, which I now realize that's where I was wrong, and Zack told me "Screw off Assbang". That's all I did.

DA Hilderman: Thank you Mr. Hedgehog, you may step down. If it pleases the court, I would like to produce cell phone records on the night of 7/9/12 from Zack Halladay to various callers as evidence.

Carrier: Verizon

Subscriber: Zachary Halladay

Date: 7/9/12

Halladay, Claire 836-9912

Warner, Wakko 103-7175

The Mormon church of San Diego 391-8814

Domino's Pizza 483-1923

Club Regent 928-1924

Dapper costumes, Inc. 124-9136

Amtrak 917-2929

Club Rage 910-0193

Star Limousine 201-9913

The Slick Kitty Strip Club 919-8241

HP Technical Support 1-800-123-919391-392-201191

Miles Prower 916-9104

Emergency Services 911

DA Hilderman: His last call before he dialed 911 while he died was to Miles Prower, who never answered because he had already shot himself to prevent word of the events from getting out into international media. Mr. Jameson had stated that he killed Mr. Halladay in Self Defense, but the cell phone records don't lie. Therefor we can successfully conclude that Mr. Jameson had killed Mr. Halladay in order to keep him silent about his actions that stopped his rich megalomaniac father.


	6. Page 2 of the official files

DA Hilderman: Now I present a recorded transcript of the 911 call…

Call recorded: 7/9/12 3:13 AM Dispatcher: Cindy Willa Kinderson

Cindy: 911 what is the emergency?

Mr. Halladay: HELP ME! HELP ME! HE'S STABBING ME IN THE LEG AGGGHHHH HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Cindy: Ok sir just calm down. Just tell me where you are.

Mr. Halladay: THE OLD MINIMART! 7TH AND OLBOSON!

Cindy: Paramedics and police are on their way sir.

Mr. Halladay: NO STOP STABBING M-*splorch shlick splatch*-*Click*

DA Hilderman: Now you can't tell me that Mr. Jameson didn't kill Mr. Halladay because his phone is an admissible piece of evidence. We fingerprinted the keypad and we found both Mr. Halladay AND Mr. Jameson's fingerprints on the keypad AND screen. The call history on the phone itself shows the call to Mr. Prower and then the 911 call.

Attorney Gary Kada: I OBJECT YOUR HONOR! THE DA IS TRYING TO INSERT INADMISSIBLE EVIDENCE!

Judge John Woodson: Objection overruled. Try that shit again and your ass'll be my chair.

Attorney Kada: Sorry your honor.

DA Hilderman: ANYWAY…the prosecution rests their case.

Judge Woodson: We shall have the jury decide whether this man, Joseph Jameson, is guilty of Capital Murder.

Jameson: I'M NOT GUILTY YOU ASSBANG! NOT FUCKING GUILLLLTTTTYYYYYY!

Judge Woodson: Remove him from this court at once!


	7. Shitty as fuck end

Two weeks later…

"Try Z-Cola! New from the Coca-Cola company! You can find it next to New Coke and Coca-Cola."

"Catch the Coke fever."

"The Nu Gaiz run on dunkin!"

News caster: Hello and welcome back to Channel 12 news. Joe Jameson is going to his sentencing after being found Guilty of 2 counts of Capital murder in the stabbings of Zack Halladay and Wakko Warner."

Dot: Well, here goes nothing

Yakko: Dot, he and Wakko are in a better place now. So is Miles. Let's just hope this slime ball gets the death penalty.

News caster: And the sentence is…Death by lethal injection. Now we go to the recent fire in Las Vegas that claimed the lives of-

Dot: Yakko?

Yakko: Yeah?

Dot: Will we ever see Wakko or Zack again?

Yakko: I'm sure we will. *Looks over at window and sees me giving the Rock on Symbol* I'm sure we will.

*Let the bodies hit the floor plays first, with Return of the Mack playing next*

I know, I first had a movie with guns and cars and shit, but turned out a 6 page piece of shit. I'm done, I'll figure out where to go next with this in a sequel. Soooo see ya


End file.
